- POSITION: Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
- JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in anoften chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
- RESPONSIBILITIES:The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for t he worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
- POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
- PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately.On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis..
- WAGES AND COMPENSATION:Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
- BENEFITS:While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right..
- ** AND A FOOTNOTE?** THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!
JACK'S PAJAMA DAY!
Jack had pajama day at preschool yesterday! He got to wear his beloved Thomas the train P.J.'s. We call him Hugh Heffner when he wears them :-) I know his spikes are getting a little long...we are going to try to fit in a hair cut some time soon!
Hailey joined in the photo fun! They were being so silly. I told them to smile pretty so we could send a picture to Grandaddy Great and they just got sillier!!
I don't know what happend here but it looks like Jack is saying, What smells? and Hailey is saying, Oops that was me! :-)~
So here we are at preschool! Ralston (far left) made a train for everyone. There are 8 kids in the class and these are the ones who wanted to get in the picture. They were all so cute in their jammies. As you can see Jack wanted to bring his HUGE Car's blanket that he got for Christmas. He loves that thing!
My sweet buddy!